Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
