you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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