It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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