just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
