i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
