I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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