i don't like sucking hair
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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