No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
