The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
you had me at cake vodka
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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