I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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