There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
