I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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