its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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