I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
