It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
