I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
