We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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