I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
