At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
