Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
