She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Pants are for mortals
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
