he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
