you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
