Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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