How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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