I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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