we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
