I smell stomach acid.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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