Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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