No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Let's get the cat blown out
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
