Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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