Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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