I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
