I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
