College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
