Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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