Christians are straight up FREAKS
We won't sleep together?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
