Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
