How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
