so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I have aggressive nipples.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
