I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
