drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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