Me. At least after what I've been through.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
