i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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