you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize