What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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