This girl is more easily done than said...
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
