does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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