can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
