So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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