Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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