my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Is Oprah even human
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
