I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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