I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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