You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
