She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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