what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
