oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
