Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize