# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
