I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
