It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
