Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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