so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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